February 2012
I have the social skills of an ape.
edgar-sux:
Girl I volunteer with tells me she’s a Jew.
Her: I’m a Jew.
Me: [racks brain for anything Jew-ey to talk about]
Me: So have you ever sat Shiva?
Me: [oh my god]
Later on I go on to tell her that I’m “jealous” because as an aspiring stand up, I think it would give me “street cred.”
“Go after her. Fuck, don’t sit there and wait for her to call, go after her...”
– Harvey Milk (via emtc)
Did he really say this?
I’m skeptical, but I like it anyway.
(via allisonweiss)
Coincidence?
luckypaperstars:
There are approximately 32 million women in France, and approximately 32 million American self-help books about being more like French women.
“Everybody knows?”
– French BF’s favorite expression
These girls keep calling me Karina
And I don’t know how to respond because I’m drunk and they brought the foie gras?
indierawk:
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps.
“Wait, they...
January 2012
“A watched coffee pot doesn’t cure a hangover.”
– Something I just came up with.
I HAVE STUFF TO DO!
The owner of the building just walked in like he owns the place (technicality!) and I was totally on a roll today! I dropped off my ID at the optometrist after two weeks of dodging phone calls, called Fido to make sure I was allowed to have free internet again, and ordered a renewal form for my expired medicare card and NOW I have to call some government guy who probably leaves work at 4:30pm and...
I just listened to the world's most boring persona...
It’s her friend’s boyfriend’s birthday.
She left her last job on good terms.
She finished the project last week.
SALLY or DAN will write a good letter for him.
Wait, what? Ask a lawyer? Marty’s a good kid with a great family? Poor guys is going to have to deal with the stigma?
Suddenly this conversation is fascinating. Goddamnit I wish I’d made friends with her...
“Slut” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “yes”....”
– via angels-and-angles:livelaughawesome
I just scoffed at some apples.
Getting ready to create a superblog. Who’s following me?
I want to start a Christian form of Rickrolling...
corycavin:
It works like this:
1. Ask someone a question - “Hey do you remember when you did that thing…?”
2. When they answer yes, you simply reply “IT WAS THEN THAT I CARRIED YOU”.
Try it out on your friends.
I refuse to believe that I drank that entire...
So there's this couple sharing a room...
They are the only couple in the building that shares a room. It’s basically student housing post-res, so everyone is in a tiny bedroom in apartments of four or five people. So we have these exchange students who I guess insisted on being together in a room, making a five-person apartment a six person apartment, and even though I’m the kind of crazy girlfriend who would insist on that,...
adamalone asked: That shot - you in a studio in Montreal in November 2010, double exposed with a street in Soho (maybe Tribeca? I can't remember) shot in November 2011.
“I don’t know why you think saying “I don’t use markers”...”
– Me, to the hottest black dude ever. The only thing that would have made that exchange more poignant was if I was Candice.
“The mystical healing properties of tears are invoked in fairy tales and...”
– How Tears Go ‘Pac-Man’ To Beat Bacteria (via npr)
Ha! Take that, former bosses who claim I shouldn’t be so emotional. My eyes are just looking out for the rest if me!
THE CAT MARNELL SCHOOL OF DATING: "IF YOU DON'T... →
aileengetsbeatendown:
I’m considering taking up this dating philosophy, if only because I’m single and therefore all past philosophies have failed. Thoughts?
1) NO. Honestly this kinda shit only works on guys who are already completely in love with you. Trust me. I’ve dated 99% of the guys in Montreal and the only person who ever put up with my shit is French BF. And that’s...
