RT @ActuallyNPH: Happy Slapsgiving, everyone! Make sure to spend a few minutes being thankful, and letting those that you love know abo …
“
I don’t believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, can read 20,000 words per minute.
…Yes, I’m a genius.
”— Dr. Spencer Reid
“I haven’t the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.”
—
David Sedaris
Today, I trained my dog to fist bump me when I say, "That's what she said." MLIA.
theverbalstuntpilot:(via soniarose)
-Anatomy of a Hipster #159.
Happy Thanksgiving! And to all you malnourished indie kids out there, eat something. You look like skin and bones and American Apparel.
Just picked up these Gingerbread flavored coffee cups for the Keurig.
I’m In Love.
Is everyone in the 514 aware that Java U Cafes no longer use Green Mountain coffee? They just use whatever is cheapest. Boycott boycott boycott! (Except the Mezz, cause those kids are sexy bitches.)
BTW, Vanessa - here's what happens to me when you desert me at a Java gig...
- Robert: Hey there sexy! Wait, where's my favorite hot Java girl?
- CA: She moved to Arizona! Can you believe it?!
- Robert: I've been abandoned!
- CA: No, *I've* been abandoned.
- Robert: Don't worry - there are gonna be some young real estate studs here tonight who'll make you feel allllll better. Or I will. *malicious snickering*
- CA: Uh huh, just make sure they're American citizens.
Oh, Agent Reid... so sexy...
I am thankful for: the time I slept with French-Pierre. That was *awesome*.
handbookfortherecentlydeceased:
always relevant
Can’t say I disagree w/ @drunkstepfather… always wanted @officialTila to learn how to spell. That said, I was so addicted to shot at love.
For Vanessa - thank you for the parting gift of your entire extended family. I will now obviously be incapable of having a meltdown because there are so freakin’ many people watching out for me.
Pretty sure Emilio is the craziest/most likely to hunt me down should I suddenly disappear.
