Why didn’t we think of this? Use drawer pulls to turn a plain belt into a statement piece. [via HonestlyWTF] Learn how.
More excited about the fact that I know where to find drawer pulls in Paris than anything else. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh can you imagine me doing this?
Not this belt but like having my real life in Paris.
When you want to find out where you stand, cycle-wise, without asking your assistant manager…
Wait, wait when was that? I’ve got chocolate cravings March 21st…
Oh, thank god. April 21st: asked my assistant manager when we were getting our periods. Phew. It’s coming and I am not actually this fat. Also - I can eat as much chocolate as I like right now. Praise hallelujah Jesus and shit.
People who put the remnants of their dinner into restaurant candles are probably the same ones who ate the paste in kindergarten.
Somewhere on the planet, someone clicked through for that tutorial, and I would love to peer into their life. Read an essay they’ve written. Peruse the subjects of their emails. See their toothpaste lid.
I don’t want to lie and say I literally googled this last night, but I did google every pill in our cabinet to see if any of them were recreation-worthy.
Turns out… no. But mixing the last of the Amsterdam weed, 3 euro merlot, and a Robax Platinum didn’t do me any harm.
Hey, Parisians? Here’s a life tip that might make everyone else on the globe stop shit-talking you: you are under no obligation to verbalize every nasty thought you have. Everyone else on the planet manages to be pissed off at the person taking too long on the escalator or the bitchy receptionist at the yoga studio who asks you to put your phone away (personal sitch) without actually attacking that person’s character.
You are not paying it forward. Stop.
And it will be scary. It will. You have to go on a highway for one thing which is bone-chilling enough. But everyone you leave behind will still be there. Some people may fade but really, those are the people who would fade with time and newer people anyways. You can’t save them and you can’t worry about them now. You can only appreciate them.
Don’t be afraid. It’s going to be brilliant. Or interesting. At the very least, it’s going to be interesting.
When my publicist said, “Vulture wants to talk to you about Taylor Swift. Did you want to talk about that or the show?” I was like, “Are you kidding? I only want to talk about Taylor. It’s about time someone asked.
This was amazing to read and anyone who likes either of these people should read it. Deputy Leo, you guys! He can be Schmidt all he wants, he’s Deputy Leo who sold Logan his dead ex-girlfriend’s sex tape to help his mentally challenged sister go to special school to me FOREVER.
I’m glad Dan Brown’s new book is titled Inferno, because now I get to piss off people by asking “Dante’s or Dan Brown’s?” every time someone makes a Divine Comedy reference.
DOING THIS let’s make it intercontinental, Mike.
Me every day. Really. REALLY.
Simon told me that gay men are attracted to me (historically I have at least two if not three gay ex-boyfriends, NBD) because I am a diva. Like Cher, or this teletubby (sp?).
I bet David Spade really misses Chris Farley.
a 50-something Midwestern tourist mom, to her 30-something Midwestern tourist daughter on the subway today, after a long silence (via christinefriar)
Yeah! Wish I had been listening in on people’s conversations in the metro today, like Christine, instead of doing what I was actually doing, which was washing six garbages with bleach and arguing with Parisians about whether or not they would pay their bill because their favourite (read: only) joke is: What, it’s not free?
You know what is magic and totally cures a bad day? French husband tickling your feet. I decided to try this out since it cheers him up insanely fast (to tickle my feet) and usually makes me giggle… and sure enough, a few tickles and a bottle of red later… bad day forgotten. Yay!